I Do, Maybe: A Novella by Jay Libby

Author:Jay, Libby [Jay, Libby]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2015-06-09T07:00:00+00:00

Everything was quiet when I opened my eyes again. I was warm and comfortable, in a hospital room.

“Em, honey,” Mum said as she reached out to take my one exposed hand.

“Mum, what happened?”

“You collapsed after your race, you hit your head. But you’re okay, there’s no permanent damage. Just a bump.” Mum smiled. “The doctor thinks all that hair under your cap softened the blow.”

The door to my room opened and Fraser walked in. He looked somewhat relieved to see me awake, but he was angry. “Can we have a few minutes alone?” he asked my mother.

“She’s only just woken up, Fraser.”

“I need to talk to her alone.”

My mother nodded. “I’ll be right outside,” she said, giving my hand a final squeeze before she stood up and left me alone with Fraser.

“How are you feeling?” he asked. He stood at the end of my bed.

“Fine, my head feels a bit foggy, but I’m fine.”

He ran his fingers through his hair. “The doctor says you’re underweight. He said you feinted because you’re dehydrated and your iron levels are dangerously low.”

“Okay,” I said.

“No Emily. That’s not okay. You’re an athlete, you know the importance of a healthy diet.”

“I do eat healthy.”

“Yes, but how often? Kat says you’re constantly missing at meal times when you’re at school, Georgiana told me you always say you’ve already eaten when you’re home and Greg told me that you tell him you’ll eat when you get home. So I’m curious to know when it is exactly that you eat?” His voice was firm and raised.

I closed my eyes, not able to look at him any longer. He knew, and he was going to ask me. But it didn’t mean I’d have to tell him.

He softened his voice. “How long have you been starving yourself?”

“I’m not hungry,” I said, just like I’d been saying for months upon months.

“I didn’t ask you whether you were hungry, I asked you...”

“I know what you asked me, Fraser,” I interrupted him, my own voice becoming raised.

I sensed him move around to the side of my bed. His hand touched mine. He was quiet for a while before he spoke again.

“Do you have any idea how it felt watching you collapse into a heap at the side of that pool?” The unevenness in his voice made me open my eyes and look up at him. He shook his head at me. “You scared me,” he said quietly. He sat down in the chair, his grip on my hand tightening.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

His eyes scanned by body under the blankets. “You’ve lost so much weight. I couldn’t believe it was you when you stood up for your first race yesterday. I thought they’d called the wrong name.”

A tear rolled from the corner of my eye.

“Do you remember what you gave me for my birthday this year?”

I nodded my head.

“Tell me.”

“Honesty.” With all the lies and deceit that had been going on I gave Fraser a promise that I’d always be honest with him. I didn’t want to hold onto the exhaustion that came with withholding the truth.

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